How to help not only yourself through a custody battle, but also your children
Custody battles are excruciating and difficult, there is simply no way around it. Finding the right legal representation is essential for you to come out of this process intact. Additionally, taking the time to read books by people who understand the nuances of the legal system, inequities in the court and child welfare can help you better prepare for what lies ahead. Taking the time to educate yourself is an invaluable tool that can allow you to have essential resources at your fingertips. We have compiled a list of what we think are the five best books to help you through and beyond your custody battle.
1. Win Your Child Custody War: Child Custody Help Source Book--A How-To System for People Serious About the Welfare of Their Child by Charlotte Hardwick
This book is an exhaustive resource filled with answers to any and all questions you may have about child custody. Originally published in 1992 this book has been revised time and time again, to ensure its timeliness and relevance in today’s world. Win Your Child Custody War covers topics ranging from how to support your child in court, how to expose mistruths from the opposing party, how to identify your own problematic behaviors and so much more. Readers of this book call it a must-read and say it saved them time, money and grief when navigating the legal process. If you are going through or anticipating going through a messy custody battle, this is the book for you.
2. The High-Conflict Custody Battle: Protect Yourself and Your Kids from a Toxic Divorce, False Accusations, and Parental Alienation by Amy J. L. Baker
If you are in a high conflict custody battle where your co-parent is unjustly trying to frame you as an unfit parent, this book can be a great resource for you. This book outlines many mental and legal resources to help you maintain clarity and keep your children safe. Written by legal and psychological experts, you can trust that the information in this book is genuinely useful and based in facts and science. Further, this book can tell you what to expect when you are stepping into the courtroom, so you feel prepared for what is to come. We recommend reading this book early on in your custody battle to ensure you are equipped with the best resources available. Reviewers highlight that if you are dealing with a particularly difficult co-parent, this is a must-read to help you through it.
3. Through the Eyes of Children by J. R. Johnston, C. Garrity, M. Baris, K. Breunig
Through the Eyes of Children is a series of stories which serve as poignant explorations of divorce and custody in ways that are digestible to children. You are likely very concerned about your child’s well-being during this uncertain time, and rightfully so -- significant and divisive life changes can leave lasting scars on your children and their psyches. Written by leading authorities on child psychology and divorce, Through the Eyes of Children utilizes metaphor and imagination to assist children in understanding what they are going through and allow them to cope in healthy ways. Children have reported feeling much better about their parents divorce after reading this book, and that is an invaluable outcome, not only for your child, but for yourself. Despite how ugly your custody battle may get, it is essential to shield your children from some of the pain and suffering you are experiencing -- this book can help guide you in the right direction.
4. Mothers on Trial: The Battle for Children and Custody by Phyllis Chesler
If you are a mother facing a custody battle, this book will be an essential resource for you. Not only does the book dispel the many myths surrounding the favoritism of women in the courtroom, but it also highlights the many legal injustices and disparities that are unique to mothers. This book discusses topics ranging from child protection to what to expect from the courts. What’s more, if you are a woman facing an unjust legal system, this book will help you to realize that you are not alone. This book follows a similar philosophy to what we believe here at Pacem Tempestate Law -- there are no winners in situations of divorce and custody; the best we can do is to try and ensure a safe and prosperous future for our children. If you are a woman facing a custody battle, Mothers on Trial: The Battle for Children and Custody will empower you to stand up for yourself in instances of injustice, all while giving you the tools to care for your child’s mental health in the best ways possible.
5. Custody for Fathers : A Practical Guide Through the Combat Zone of a Brutal Custody Battle by Carleen and Michael Brennan
Being a father in a custody battle comes with its own unique struggles. While there are certain injustices pertaining to women navigating the legal system, this imbalance can swing both ways. This book will help fathers to tackle any adversity that comes their way and provide skills for productive mediation, dealing with a difficult judge, testifying effectively and productively handling setbacks. This book can help you communicate your desire to care for your child throughout the custody process, and present yourself in a way which reflects your values. If you are a father going through a custody battle, this book could be the thing which helps you to be successful in maintaining the wellbeing of yourself and your children during and after your time in court.
We hope that diving into the unmatched advice in these books will help you feel more prepared going into your custody battle. This process will be difficult one way or the other, but these books can offer assurance that you are doing the right thing and are not alone. Educating yourself can be incredibly empowering when you feel like you have nowhere else to turn and these books are a wonderful place to start.