Books that will help you not only survive your divorce, but thrive beyond it
Divorce will always be a difficult process, no matter how amicable it may be. While family and friends can be great confidants, they do not necessarily have the resources you need to persevere through your difficult time. So, we have compiled a list of books to reference when you feel like you may not have anywhere else to turn:
1. Getting Past Your Breakup: How to Turn a Devastating Loss into the Best Thing That Ever Happened to You by Susan J Elliott
This book is on Amazon's best selling self-help books on divorce list, and for good reason. Not only has Elliot been through a divorce herself, but she shares her own story through the context of being a therapist, certified grief counselor and educator. Elliot discusses a variety of important topics such as how to distance yourself from your ex, how to practice self-care in the midst of your divorce and how to move on and find love again once you are ready. This book also includes letters from real people with questions about the nuanced intricacies of divorce. And who knows? Maybe one of those letters answers the questions you have been asking yourself since your relationship ended. If you are seeking assistance in moving on from your ex, dismissing self-blame and taking strides towards improving your own life, this is the book for you.
2. It’s Called a Breakup Because It’s Broken by Greg Behrendt and Amiira Ruotola-Behrendt
If you are a bit more of a realist, and are the most accountable with a bit of tough love, try picking up a copy of It’s Called a Breakup Because It’s Broken. This book does not sugarcoat it, which is sometimes what you need to kickstart your healing process; it will call out some of your less admiral behaviors, like calling your ex in the middle of the night, eating an entire pint of Ben & Jerry’s, or ruminating over what your ex is doing without you. While these behaviors may allow you to feign a sense of control over your situation, they may be the very things keeping you stagnant. Behrendt’s no-prisoners demeanor will snap you out of your haze and get you ready to take on your new world as a single.
3. Aftermath: On Marriage and Separation by Rachel Cusk
Rachel Cusk’s Aftermath: On Marriage and Separation is a raw and vulnerable look into the difficult road which follows a breakup. Not only does this book address the intricacies of ending a serious relationship, but it explores the complex role that divorce plays in our society. Cusk offers insight into how to navigate the social pressure and stigma surrounding divorce, and how to focus on how you feel instead of how others feel. If you are a parent, you will find Cusk a refreshing take on how parenthood changes with divorce and how it can put strain on both your children, and your identity as a parent. A beautifully written account of the ups and downs, highs and lows -- Cusk will make you feel seen with her expert account of the complexities of divorce.
4. Mom's House, Dad's House: Making two homes for your child by Isolina Ricci Ph.D.
If you are a parent, this is the book on how to navigate your new normal. In this helpful guide, Ricci explores how psychology explains varying co-parenting styles and provides scenarios to help you prepare for the best and worst. It is a revealing account of the legal, emotional and financial struggles associated with divorce, allowing you to prepare for them and mitigate their potential impacts on your children. This book will challenge you to look inward, and will call you out on your less savory behaviors. If you want to be accountable for your children, you must first be accountable to yourself, and this book is a great first step to help you achieve that.
5. Love Yourself Like Your Life Depends on It by Kamal Ravikant
Self love is essential in persevering through any challenging situation. Divorce can cause feelings of self-doubt, self-blame and insecurity. You may feel as though you are disappointing your friends and family, your children, or that you have failed yourself. All of these feelings are completely valid -- you spent extensive time, energy and money on this relationship, and for what? Well, not for nothing, you can use this pain and hardship to find love and appreciation for yourself. This book is not about divorce, but the author explores how self-love guided him through what felt like a personal failure. Not only did Ravikant find self-love, but his experience helped him grow into a better version of himself. Ravikant’s comprehensive guide will help you maneuver through the process from self-forgiveness to self-actualization.
We hope you get a chance to take some time for yourself and find solace in the words of these books. Hearing other’s stories of divorce can help you feel less alone, and empower you to follow in their footsteps; remember, you do not have to go through this alone.